Little Sister Syndrome
by Ink Reservoir
Summary: She's just trying to be like her perfect big brother.


**Disclaimer: Death Note isn't mine.**

**Little Sister Syndrome**

"Light would have done it, why won't you?"

"You have to work harder, Sayu! Look at your brother's grades, you think you can be happy with an 85?"

"No, Sayu! Why can't you understand that no means no? Your brother never did this!"

"Sayu," her mother would groan. "Why can't you be more like Light?"

Light. Light. Light. Light.

His name would swirl around in her head parallel to the tangle of feelings trying to pull it in, if only because the kanji were written oh so perfectly they weren't fit for her mediocrity.

Nothing about him was fit for her mediocrity. The only thing Light shared with her was a last name.

After all, he was a genius. She was just the sister.

When she did what she did, everyone would be surprised.

* * *

"Light," she said in a voice stronger than one she had ever used before. "I know you're Kira."

"What makes you say that?"

"You couldn't not be."

* * *

"Oh, I taught your brother! Light Yagami... wow, he was a legend. I expect the same of you, of course!" the teacher winked.

No, please don't, Sayu would think. You'll think I'm stupid like everyone else.

Anyone was stupid in comparison to her brother, and Sayu was extra stupid because she was always being compared to her brother.

Light wasn't a bad brother. In fact, he was the best brother anyone could ever ask for. He had helped her with her homework, he took her places when she was bored, he introduced her to his friends.

Sometimes she'd wished he wouldn't, wished he'd make one nasty comment or hit her, even, just so she could tell on him and show that no, Light Yagami wasn't perfect. Sometimes she wondered if a perfect person should even make you feel like this, if he should have some kind of influence over the people who thought she was _just Light Yagami's little sister_ and make them like her? Had he been imperfect simply because he couldn't make anyone else perfect?

No, of course not.

Sayu got used to the shadows, but she never liked them.

She stared down at her hands and wondered if she was supposed to be sorry. If she was supposed to collapse to the ground and beg forgiveness.

* * *

"Nothing else is wrong with you," she'd said. "Either you're a god or a crazy serial killer."

"Serial killer?" he laughed.

"God, if you like that word better."

"Wow, Sayu, your brother's amazing!"

* * *

Her friends loved him too, and who wouldn't? They were her friends because she was his sister, after all. Sayu Yagami didn't exist, there was only Light Yagami and the girl who existed so people could see how well he treated her and love him more for it.

The more amazing Light became, the less Sayu loved herself in the process. And Light never became less amazing.

It got to a point where she started to hate Light. She didn't know when it had started or how, but one day she found herself staring at his perfect face while he explained mathematics to her and wondered if she would have been perfect had Light never existed.

* * *

"Sayu, I'm not perfect."

"What _are _you then, Light?" she yelled, tears streaming down her face.

"Don't cry, shh," he said with his most reassuring voice and she was torn between wanting to bend to his will and wanting to smack him across the face. She chose the latter.

Light was flawless. That's how she figured it out.

He held a hand to his stinging face and shot her a glare that instantly melted. "Look, I know you're frustrated and I think I understand how you-"

"No!" she cried. "Shut up! You don't understand and you never will. You are perfect, Light, PERFECT! That's all you've ever known, perfection! And I know that you're Kira because you can't not be Kira. If you aren't Kira, you're nobody, aren't you? And Nobody isn't perfect!"

"Sayu, you sound crazy."

"No, Light, you're crazy," she said, and a calm settled in over her. "You know what? You're not the only smart Yagami kid, ok? At first, I thought 'No, not my brother, he can't be Kira' but I know I'm right. You've been hanging out at the police station and don't even pretend like you haven't, I know."

Light's eyes suddenly flashed now and she could see thoughts flitting across in his mind.

"What, you going to kill me now, Light?" she said in the most mocking tone she could muster. "Kill your poor, innocent little sister Sayu who's too stupid to see what's right in front of everyone? Huh? Gonna laugh at me like you laugh at dad?"

"Alright, Sayu," he said, ignoring her. "You figured it out, you're right, I'm Kira. But you don't have to go against me. You could help me be Kira. If you give me a chance to explain, I can tell you why-"

"No," Sayu interrupted. "No, I don't want to be Kira with you. You... you sicken me. I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."

He smirked, just for a moment.

"Look, you can't tell anyone anyway," he said. "You have no way to prove anything. Besides, if you go against me, you're just putting yourself in danger."

"Oh, no, I'm not in danger," she smiled just as venomously. Light's face remained composed, his voice collected like it always was. Perfect may as well have been stamped on his forehead, Kira on his tongue. "I think you're the one who should be afraid, Light."

"I'm telling you, the police-"

"Light, I'm going to kill you. You're a killer, it's what you deserve."

"Sayu," her mother would groan. "Why can't you be more like Light?"


End file.
